I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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