WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
