I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize