I need help removing her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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