i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
