What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
