I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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