I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
