great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
