Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
