I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize