youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
