i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
