White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk is a universal language darling
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