Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
