yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
