so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize