The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
