Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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