I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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