Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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