but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
