Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
