Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
don't judge my taste in strippers
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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