Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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