I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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