Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize