if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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