i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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