im about as happy as oj after his trial
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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