next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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