Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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