on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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