ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
