I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize