Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize