o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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