so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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