xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
