have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
