Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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