At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so let's talk penis.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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