I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
