I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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