Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
