I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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