Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Even my vagina gasped.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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