Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize