we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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