So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
