At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
