He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
