New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
