I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
