So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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