Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
