My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
