In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
