remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
