Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
