I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
time to smoke my breakfast
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
