dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
