Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
