after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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