i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
