i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
